GOODBYE FACEBOOK

Hello my Darlings!
I am so sorry for the lack of posts over the past couple of weeks- I have been so busy with assignments that I have literally been throwing on a hoodie or living in my pyjamas, so I know you'd be less than impressed with my (pretty horrific) Journalism-Law chic. I'm gonna try and do a few fashion news articles and some catwalk reports to fill this space, but today I want to talk about something un-fashion related (hear me out!) but it's relevant to probably all of you so i'm just gonna ramble and express my views, please feel free to tell me your opinions!

OKAY.. so here it is.. I DELETED FACEBOOK.

YEP.

Well, as I found out, you can only deactivate it, which basically defeats the whole objective of getting rid of this (in my opinion) vile excuse for a social networking site. I assume this is all part of Facebooks brainwashing tactics as having such an accessible method of reactivation means that people will, more than likely, log back in JUST TO HAVE A PEEK.. which naturally then turns into liking a status, joining a group.. GOING ALL THE WAY BACK TO 2007 VIA JANET BROWNS PROFILE PICTURES BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH IN SCHOOL AND I WANT TO SEE IF SHE'S GOT FAT.* In other words, it's like taking a bag of cocaine off a violently dependent drug user and leaving them in an empty room par this particular bag in a locker.. that they know the combination to. It will start off with 'ooh i'll just have a bit to keep me satisfied'.. shortly followed by them rolling around in it screaming "I LOVE COCAINE". 

Okay, slight exaggeration. But in terms of a metaphor it's a pretty accurate description of Facebook. Although many people will make a beeline for this 'drug' after a few days or so, there will, of course, there will be people who have enough will power to stay away from it. I truly believe I am one of these people, because I think I have a few very valid reasons for leaving. 

1) PEOPLE. I have managed to build up a list of around 1000 friends. Half of whom I have never met in my life, a quarter of whom I hate. Scientists have concluded that the brain is only able to maintain 150 stable social relationships at any one time, and to be honest, there are probably about 20 people who's 'Facebook friendship' I actually value, and these are people whos main interaction with me is via face to face communication, texts, or phone calls. So with regards to the argument 'BUT YOU'LL CUT ALL TIES WITH YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS'.. I don't care. If I really matter to these people, they will make other efforts to contact me, and vice versa. 

2) PICTURES. I am sick to death of seeing 4000 pictures a day of girls in my sisters year wearing the same makeup, hair, pose.. although they do change their clothes to mix it up a bit. I assume this happens every ten minutes. The sad thing is that these girls actually rely on these photos to gain themselves attention-approval from both males and females which seals an acceptance into some form of in-group which, in 2 years time, will probably no longer exist. We all know it feels good when someone 'likes' a picture of you. So through conditional learning we post more and more photos in anticipation of the positive feeling you get when you see 'so & so liked a picture of you'.. even if so & so is your uncles creepy friend who probably masturbates over Waterloo Road. Personally, i'd rather someone make a judgement of me based on my character, rather than gaining an opinion by scrutinising my profile pictures. 

3) FARMVILLE REQUESTS. I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO JUSTIFY THIS. GO AWAY.

4) FACEBOOK CHAT. It was bad enough having to deal with at least one random guy a day messaging me with "HI. HI GORGEOUS. HI. HEY BABE. HI. WUU2? U K? HI. HEY." But when Facebook comes up with the ingenius plan of LETTING THESE SLIMEBALLS KNOW YOU'VE READ THEIR MESSAGE, AT THE EXACT TIME, AND THAT YOU ARE IGNORING THEM, this really does become an issue. I then get these guys informing me that I am ignoring them. No shit, Sherlock. 

5)STATUSES. "WHY ARE ALL MEN THE SAME? I WANT A MAN NOT A BOY" "OMG THE X-FACTOR IS SUCH A FIX!" "CUDDLES & CHINESE WITH MY BOY <3" sound familiar? Yeahhhhhhhhh. Exactly. "SOOOOOOO HUNGOVER" I don't care. Take a Berocca and man up. Have a nice day.

I could sit here all day justifying my reasons for leaving Facebook, but let's be honest, it's wasted enough of my time as it is, and I really just don't need it clogging up my life anymore. The days of aimlessly scrolling through my news feed are LONG GONE, and do you know what? It's only been about four days, but I don't miss it at all.






*I have no idea who Janet Brown is. Sorry Janet Brown.